Wednesday, May 5, 2010

GRACE SPEAKS

"What is depression," began Grace. "What is it? I wish I could define it singularly, sum it up in a word, but its Bigger than a word, more invasive than a word and has ugly roots in the corners of my Being..."
"It is a Bad feeling. Complicated and malignant. Its like a sucker fish that travels unwelcome right upon the back of any good mood you have. Leeching the very light or Joy out of moments that are meant to be happy. Depression is sadness, Maude. It is grief, doubt, and anger suck in your gut, tunneled down deep. It is anger at yourself for Not doing something about the things that you can do SOMETHING about. It makes all the world look flat and the colors look faded. It makes all ideas seem either too big to actualize, or too trite to try or to stupid to begin. Its negativity Maude. Self defeating Negativity. It makes pain worse, and sleep a nightmare."
Maude looked up at Grace and said simply "Go on Grace."
"What is worse is I am not sure why I feel this way."
"Well, I hear there have been some goings on around here Grace. Something about an attack of the pie-rats and Prunella Fig-Pink melting into the floorboards of your own Bedroom? Is it true she wanted the Baggaraggs for herself?"
Grace thought for a minute and replied  "Yes, I guess that's all so, but I think that's not what is really bothering me Maude.."
"Well, what the hell is it THEN???" Insisted Maude, who was not a patient Therapist.
"I am Tired. Tired of ..." Grace thought a minute. "I am just tired." She finished resigned to leave the end undiscovered. She knew what she was tired of but saying it would make it even uglier, like exposing a terrible and shameful wound.
"I think you'd better out with it Grace," said Maude. "Otherwise we will be here all NIGHT !"
Grace drew an imaginary line in her palm with her forefinger, and let out a sigh. "Jeez Maude, ...you are coming up a bit short on the sympathy."
"You don't need Sympathy Grace, you need a can opener from what I can see."
"I take care of everyone. " Grace said at last. "I am tired, and no one takes care of Me."
Maude rubbed her antennae together and smiled. "That's because you never let anyone take care of you Grace. I am going out to get myself taken care of right this Minute, find myself a nice big Mothman." Maude giggled and added "See ya tomorrow night and you'd better look up Martyr in the dictionary because your picture is right there next to it. Hahahaha"                                                                                 Maude Fluttered off Leaving Grace with her mouth hanging open.

3 comments:

Debra said...

I want to hug Grace.

Riverwood Primitives said...

Feel better soon Grace!

phylliso said...

How did you know...I am Grace?!
That`s how I feel ALOT of time,phylliso